Is it easier said than done?
I am reminded of a popular saying, “Its easier said than done!”. So many people like to use this saying when they are faced with a problem or hardships. I was diagnosed with Peritoneal Mesothelioma at the tender age of 21. I remember bits and pieces of the day that I found out, but there is one thing that stood out to me. My doctor at the time stood at the foot of my bed after I had surgery and said these words, “Well Ms. Cox your surgery went well, BUT you have cancer! Mesothelioma to be exact, I’m sorry.” (Then he left out the room) I am sure that anyone who has ever been diagnosed with cancer has had different responses. For me I really didn’t have a response until later. It took some time for me to comprehend it. Let me remind you that I was in the recovery room because I had just got out of surgery. So, once he said that I looked at the faces of my family members standing around my bed, the fear and sadness that showed up on their faces as they looked at me to see my response. All I could think about was my 5 month old baby Caleb, and how I wanted to go home and see my baby.
When it hits!
Although it may take some time but when it really seeps in, it hits you out of nowhere. And that’s when I had my breakdown moment. I let out the loudest scream/cry ever, it was an out pour of my emotions. Thinking about the things that led up to that point, thinking about my husband Samuel (boyfriend at the time) and son (Caleb). It felt like everything came to the forefront and flashed before my eyes. After the diagnosis comes the out pour of people reaching out and wanting to help. In a sense you feel as if they feel sorry for you and that’s the only reason why they are reaching out. But at the time I desired the moment to be with my little family (then just Samuel, Caleb, and myself). I needed the time to digest things and get my mind prepared for the next steps. During the entire time Samuel would encourage me, he would let me know that I would get through this and reminded me daily of my Faith. Just in case you’re not familiar with the word Faith, it means believing in something even if you don’t see it, you know that you know that you know! I grasped on to my Faith and didn’t let go!
The key to Faith is believing. As the days passed by my Faith got stronger and stronger. I believed that I would be healed, I believed that I would be made whole again, I believed that God would bring me through this with the victory. I realized that I found my Faith! When you are hit with a cancer diagnosis or anything that causes tribulation its easy to just fold. Its easy to get wrapped up in your emotions and question why this is happened to you. But you’ve got to find your Faith and believe you will come through. Having Faith determines your attitude as well, which is very important. I remember my family asking me all the time if I was ok, because of my positive attitude throughout the process. What they didn’t know was the peace I had because I had found my Faith!
Whatever you may be going through its important to find your Faith!