Balance is not Perfection!
The ultimate “balance” is something that every mother, wife, and parent longs for right? To be honest everyone’s balance isn’t going to be the same. I’ve learned that routines will differ from one family to another and that’s okay. Do what works for you! Some may argue that true balance isn’t possible and one must just live in the moment without trying to obtain perfection. I agree with this to a certain point. But its the way that you look at the word “balance”. Are you looking at it as obtaining perfection? Or are you looking at it as finding the harmony in your daily life and routines? I’ll take the later clause for 100 please Alex!!
As a woman with many hats and I mean many… something is always going on in my life. Its like I am always busy! I’m sure as you’re reading this you can definitely say that you can relate. With being a wife, a mother to four kids, and working two jobs; I get asked so many times how I keep up with everything? How I do what I do without crashing and burning? And how can I juggle so much without looking defeated? Well first of all I attribute it all to God because that’s where my strength lies in him! Plus I have a good husband!!! But even with God and a good husband you still need some type of structure right? So what I am about to share with you are things that you can incorporate in your routine that will help you achieve the balance in your busy life.
99% of the time how you start your day is always an indicator of how the rest of your day will flow. The saying, “I woke up on the wrong side of the bed” is so true. But what if I told you that you are in control of how you wake up! Starting your day off on the right foot is an essential to finding harmony in your life.
Before you even get out of bed, start your day off with giving thanks to God! Also begin with a scripture reading and devotional, instead of checking emails, Facebook, Instagram, and going into a fog about all the things you have to do for that day. One app that I use as a go to for scriptures and devotionals is The Holy Bible (You Version).
The app offers tons of devotionals for any subject you can imagine. Also while you are getting dressed for work, turn on some gospel, or inspirational music. This will allow you to get in align and make for a peaceful morning.
You probably have heard this a thousand times, but rest is important to your mental and physical health. It doesn’t matter how busy your life is, rest is not an option but a NECESSITY! Listen to you body, it never lies to you. I remember when I was on the go continuously. Working, taking care of home, kids, husband, and everything else in between. I didn’t allow myself to get the proper rest and ignored my body until I literally didn’t have the mental or physical ability to go any further. Just know that I suffered from extreme exhaustion and was placed on bed rest for an entire week!
Its impossible to take care of others when you haven’t taken care of yourself! Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. Getting the proper rest involves getting a good nights sleep. The recommended amount of sleep is six hours nightly. Allowing your mind to rest as your body rest is key.
Resting doesn’t allows mean sleeping. It can involve un-cluttering your mind, and taking a break from the hustle and bustle. When you rest you are allowing your mind and body to heal. A good way to turn your mind off is listening to gospel or worship music. I will also recommend downloading the calm app this will help with relaxing your mind. Also, make time in your schedule to create a rest day. A rest day is a time when you do absolutely nothing unless you want to.
For my husband’s spring break, I planned a beach vacation, which was much needed! I’m not saying plan a vacation every time you need rest but it can be an option in some instances.
Ask For Help!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! I repeat don’t be afraid to ask for help! You don’t have to do this alone trust me. Ask your husband, kids, family, friends, etc. Come up with a plan where you and your husband can share different duties and give the kids some responsibilities around the house. Some reading this may say, “Well my husband is always out of town for work, or he may be deployed. This is when you ask family and friends to help you with things. If you want a rest day and need a babysitter, ask your in-laws to babysit, or a family member you trust.
I remember when I first got married, I honestly didn’t know how to be a wife and in turn I thought I was suppose to do everything around the house. This didn’t last too long because my husband and I started sharing duties and once my kids got older we gave them different chores. What a huge difference it makes when you ask for help!
Enjoy The Moment!
Have you wonder why days seem to go by so fast? Its not that they go by fast, its just that you aren’t enjoying the moment. Try this! Pause for a moment and take everything in around you. During family time leave your phone in another room. One thing I had a problem with was that I was always thinking of what I had to do next and not being present in the moment. I was always in a rush trying to get to the next step. Learn to laugh more, talk more , soak things in, listen more, and enjoy yourself with your family. So many people forget this simple thing and then they wonder why the days and months seem like a blur. Enjoy the moment!
Now when it comes to planing things, just know that I am no “Guru”! But I do the basics with planning and it has gotten me far! It can also help you feel less overwhelmed and enable you to prioritize more.Whatever works for you work it girl! But I have found that just writing things down as reminders can be a great start. You can even utilize your phone’s notes and calendar to keep you on task. I use these tools to note the bills I have to pay every month, doctors appointments, different church events, you name it! I want to add that planning ahead can also help with timeliness which is something that I’ve been working on. Remember again that you don’t have to be a planning guru to plan ahead, just start somewhere.
Last but certainly not least getting rid of the stinking thinking is definitely life changing. Your situation may be the same, but your perception and outlook will be positive. You will be able to think more clearly and make better decisions with a positive mindset. So girl elevate your mind, remind yourself that things will get better, encourage yourself, and get your mind right! Remember that whatever is in you will eventually come out of you!